Weight of Words

In my twenty year, I've learned a few things. The one that seems most applicable, today, is this: words can cause cannonball size holes in the heart. Whatever idiot said "stick and stones can hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me" was an epic moron. He (or she) must never have had a broken heart, heard the phrase "I don't love you (anymore)," or felt the impact of the permanent version of the word goodbye.... 

Words hurt. In fact, sometimes, a punch would be more welcome than a verbal swiftest of nuclear proportions. Words can eviscerate, deftly; they can thrash old bruises and explode old wounds. Words can take a weak moment and change into a dark one; it's easy to push it a little farther, from bad to worse. Words tip the iceberg, sometimes with nothing more than a lazy-seeming sentence. 

There's an old saying—and I'm paraphrasing—that people can't hurt you, unless you give them the power to do so. Honestly, that's a fallacy. It means that as a kid, if other kids tease you, you're somehow supposed to be superhuman and not care. It means that as an adult, if you get up the nerve to ask someone out and they say 'no,' you're just not supposed to be upset. But, when you get down the reality of it, you don't give people permission to wound you; we're all varying degrees of fragile. We've all got secrets and painful memories. We have personality flaws and things about ourselves that tend to ache on rainy days. Nobody's immune to words. 

I've said unkind things in the past, but I generally try not to be a bitch (unless you screw with someone I care about; in which case, you're pretty much wrecked). I can remember the crappy things that have been said to me, over the years. It's not like a keep a written record of them, but words have a habit of sticking around—even when we claim to have forgotten. And with the words, come the old feelings and emotions. The softly creeping pangs or the sharply stinging reminder. 

In my less charitable moments, I find that all words yield broken promises, miscommunicated truths, and heartbreak. It's so easy to dash a hope, or drown a prayer; it's the act of callous heart that refuses to consider the consequences. I suppose that humanity (as gross a generalization as that is) is an egocentric race, at least at times. We think without speaking, or (worse) we are deliberately cruel. 

There's no snazzy ending to this post. I'm just…having a moment.