Tonight I just got back from an amazing time that I really needed in my life. I went to the cities with my boyfriend and a bunch of CRU people to the U of M. Tonight they were holding an event called Unite. This event's goal was to bring christians around the twin cities area of all ages together to worship and pray. It was a much needed time that I needed because of the stress of school. I learned tonight why I have been feeling disconnected with God and that is because I have been letting the worldly views get into the ways of my heavenly views. I've been stressing myself out with college and worrying if I'm coming back or not next year, when I should be on my knees pulling God closer. Instead I get angrey and push God away like it's His fault that I did do well on a test or paper. I thought to myself tonight maybe I'm not suppose to be studying social work? I've been having dreams of doing peoples hairs in churches and tonight while I was singing a worship song I got this idea of opening a christian hair salon. I applied at Century and Other school but all in all God will show me the way. This is just an idea and nothing more then simply an idea. I recommitted my life to him and told him that he can take my life and do what he wants and I will go where ever He wants. This is the first time that I meant this with all my heart. SO! if you hear of me wanting to go to Africa, or China I"m not crazy and you don't even have to understand. Just know that God placed it on my heart and provided the way for me. I have a feeling that Campuses, workplaces, schools, and families are going to start changing and Jesus is once again going to take over his people and use them in ways we as humans think impossible. So my question of you is..Are you willing to give up your life wholeheartly to the one who started and will finish you path of life?
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Unite!
Tonight I just got back from an amazing time that I really needed in my life. I went to the cities with my boyfriend and a bunch of CRU people to the U of M. Tonight they were holding an event called Unite. This event's goal was to bring christians around the twin cities area of all ages together to worship and pray. It was a much needed time that I needed because of the stress of school. I learned tonight why I have been feeling disconnected with God and that is because I have been letting the worldly views get into the ways of my heavenly views. I've been stressing myself out with college and worrying if I'm coming back or not next year, when I should be on my knees pulling God closer. Instead I get angrey and push God away like it's His fault that I did do well on a test or paper. I thought to myself tonight maybe I'm not suppose to be studying social work? I've been having dreams of doing peoples hairs in churches and tonight while I was singing a worship song I got this idea of opening a christian hair salon. I applied at Century and Other school but all in all God will show me the way. This is just an idea and nothing more then simply an idea. I recommitted my life to him and told him that he can take my life and do what he wants and I will go where ever He wants. This is the first time that I meant this with all my heart. SO! if you hear of me wanting to go to Africa, or China I"m not crazy and you don't even have to understand. Just know that God placed it on my heart and provided the way for me. I have a feeling that Campuses, workplaces, schools, and families are going to start changing and Jesus is once again going to take over his people and use them in ways we as humans think impossible. So my question of you is..Are you willing to give up your life wholeheartly to the one who started and will finish you path of life?
The 5-Year Old Version of Me
So today I was thinking about how I'm twenty and I've been twenty for almost 1/2 year but it made me think a little just what have I done with my life so far and what do I still want to do. But mostly made me miss my childhood somewhat and how I was when I was five! so here something to think about.
The 5-Year Old Version of Me
5-year-old version of me would never think that ideas is stupid. She wouldn’t worry about being silly or different or uncool. She’s too busy wondering & wandering, imagining all that this world can be. The 5-year-old me would never think that dream is too big or too crazy to come true. She would never doubt, never question, never for one minute consider giving up.
The 5-year-old me doesn’t see the cynics, and she can’t hear the critics. She is blind to any setbacks, any naysayers, any obstacles in her way.
More than anything, the 5-year-old me is fiercely and fearlessly and follows her heart.
.... I think I want to start living more like the 5-year-old Me again!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Wonder
sometimes i wonder if i would prefer a world in which things were plain and simple
words spoken held fast to their meaning, and insinutation would cease.
no more hidden messeges between the lines of a book.
everything would be literal and pure, no more misunderstanding.
and best, no more tears shed over those skewed translations, no more hearts aflame and burned for misunderstanding.
what is the value of an eloquent poem if the words are empty and artificial?
or a silence seen as soothing by one and awkward by the other?
a conversation with twisted vines of words-
as they entwine they can be caressing or constricting
interpret them as your heart tells you.
but as the mind grasps reality, you fall into despair as you find the true intentions.
but in a frank utopia this would never occur.
all breaks would be clean and wounds would heal-
quickly and without the infection and pain of adding sympathetic salt.
the line would become more distinct between romance and love
a painful truth would fade quickly, instead of the lasting sore of a sweet lie
mistrust would be wiped away, and truth would reign free
our hearts would be saved from the entanglement of deceipt
and our burdens lightened from the tiresome task of deciphering words.
but in such a world would we lose our mystery?
would romance cease and love become cold and bland?
would we appreciate the truth?
i will never know,
but it never can hurt to wonder
words spoken held fast to their meaning, and insinutation would cease.
no more hidden messeges between the lines of a book.
everything would be literal and pure, no more misunderstanding.
and best, no more tears shed over those skewed translations, no more hearts aflame and burned for misunderstanding.
what is the value of an eloquent poem if the words are empty and artificial?
or a silence seen as soothing by one and awkward by the other?
a conversation with twisted vines of words-
as they entwine they can be caressing or constricting
interpret them as your heart tells you.
but as the mind grasps reality, you fall into despair as you find the true intentions.
but in a frank utopia this would never occur.
all breaks would be clean and wounds would heal-
quickly and without the infection and pain of adding sympathetic salt.
the line would become more distinct between romance and love
a painful truth would fade quickly, instead of the lasting sore of a sweet lie
mistrust would be wiped away, and truth would reign free
our hearts would be saved from the entanglement of deceipt
and our burdens lightened from the tiresome task of deciphering words.
but in such a world would we lose our mystery?
would romance cease and love become cold and bland?
would we appreciate the truth?
i will never know,
but it never can hurt to wonder
Dear God,
Dear God,
All has been well lately, thanks to a special someone: D. I have been having a bit of difficulty reaching you lately, so I decided to be old fashioned and write you a letter. I wish I could write it to you in beautiful, loopy handwriting, but I think you regard the content more than the cursive. I miss those talks we used to have, those quiet days, and those warm nights. I’m coming back to you because I miss you. I keep waiting and waiting for you to knock on my door, but I want to throw away my pride and rush into your arms like the prodigal daughter. Please open your grand arms and accept me, like I know you will. You always do. And in every glint of beauty I encounter, every blessed moment in this earth, I can catch those glimmers of your love if I just reach out my hands and grasp them. Lord, thank you so much for being so incredibly beautiful and mysterious, and complex beyond my understanding. Let my life follow your path, and give me the strength to follow you in my every step and to draw near to your love. I love you so much God!
-your dear daughter
-your dear daughter
Jessi
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